New Semi-Regular Feature: Unfiltered Children May Be Hazardous to Your Mental Health

19 Nov

You know what, you mean little so-and-so’s? If you’re going to mouth off to me 24/7/365, I might as well get some blog posts out of it.

~~~~~

Me (in post-punishment Big Talk mode, offering long explanation of the afternoon’s events from my perspective, wrapping up strong with): “So I just don’t think that those are good ways to treat someone who loves you and wants to care for and help you. Are those the ways you treat someone you love?”

Child: “Those are the ways I treat someone I love half the time and hate half the time.”

~~~~~

Child: “Mom, what is ‘comfort food?’”

Me: “Well, it’s something soothing to eat, something that reminds you of being happy and at peace. Often it’s a favorite food from a person’s childhood.”

Child: “Oh. What do you think my comfort food will be?”

Me: “I don’t know. Anything tasty that reminds you of being cared for and loved.”

Child: “Because, no offense? I really like your cooking? But you aren’t the most comforting person. I’m just saying.”

~~~~~

Child: “Good morning, Mommy! You look… How do you feel?”

~~~~~

Me: “Oh, I missed you so much while I was away! Did you miss me, too?”

Child: “What is, like, a combination word of ‘yes’ and ‘no’? ‘Yo?’”

~~~~~

Child: “I can’t wait until one day when I have a fun phone that makes it easy to ignore MY children.”

~~~~~

My husband and I were recently both cast in a musical. We watched a recording of the musical as a family, so the kids would have an idea of what we’d be working on.

Child: “It’s funny how Daddy’s a prince, and you’re evil!”

Me: “Yeah! Haha.”

Child: “Daddy has a fun part! He has a lot of songs! He will have to work a lot on all his songs and fun parts! But Mom, you don’t have any songs, right?”

Me: “Well. Right.”

Child: “Like, no song you sing all by yourself.”

Me: “That’s right, yep.”

Child: “I mean, your part is almost not even a singing PART, right?”

Me: “Well, uh… I mean…”

Child: “Maybe Daddy would let you sing one of HIS songs!”

~~~~~

That’s it for this feature until next time, folks! Off to have a little afternoon tipple before the school bus arrives.

6 Responses to “New Semi-Regular Feature: Unfiltered Children May Be Hazardous to Your Mental Health”

  1. MizPurplest November 21, 2012 at 12:12 pm #

    I love the “yo”. What a kid thing to invent!

    • amomynous2 November 21, 2012 at 5:25 pm #

      I had to applaud her creativity even as I deplored the sentiment. 😉

      • MizPurplest November 21, 2012 at 5:41 pm #

        Maybe you need to invent a word, too? Applore? Or Deplaud?

      • amomynous2 November 21, 2012 at 8:09 pm #

        YES! Why should she have all the fun?!

  2. alimonkee November 23, 2012 at 2:46 pm #

    Dear lord, I love you. You will steal the show, regardless of the no solo business. It’s how you roll.

    • amomynous2 November 23, 2012 at 3:01 pm #

      Haha, well I think Lee should share! It’s only fair!!! 😉 XOX and thank you-love you back!

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