If I Were President

4 Dec

Does it make you uncomfortable if I snark on my own kid’s writing? Yes? No? Oh, yes? Well, aren’t you the delicate flower. OK, here we go.

An 8 year old breaks it down.

An 8 year old breaks it down.

Since you may not be able to read all the words of goodness from the photo of the goodness, I will replicate below. All [sics] sicced.

If I Were President
(Well, before she even got started she just penciled in a stovepipe hat on Ole Abe’s head there, because everyone knows he wore one, duh.)

1. Make peace.

That’s how a leader leads. Big ideas. Broad decrees. Bold strokes.

2. Make computers cheaper!

On the other hand, a leader should pay attention to the minutiae of daily life. No detail is too small, especially if you are always asking for a computer and always being told they are very expensive and no.

3. I would take the most important people live with me.

This one’s a little obscure. I’m going to assume that there is no kidnapping of Percy Jackson or the cute boy she sits next to in Social Studies implied here.

4. Make smoking illegal.

She’d never get elected in her home state talking like that.

5. Make the poor pay less on taxes. Rich the same.

Rich pay the same? As the poor? As they do now? Rich also pay less? There’s the kernel of a very fine sentiment here, and we’ll continue to work out the details. Much as our government does in real life.

6. Make only FUN activities be done in school.

Like reading Percy Jackson books, and buying strawberry shortcake pops at lunch.

7. Save all animals endangered or being killed! No killing animals!

Unless she wants to eat one on a bun with some ketchup.

8. Don’t have to much sugar!!!

You might get all hyper and crazy about punctuation and confused about your to, too, and twos!!!

9. No violence! NEVER EVER!

SHE WROTE VIOLENTLY, HER PENCIL DIGGING INTO THE PAPER!

10. No littering EVER!

Never mind that you can track her progress through the house by following the trail of coat, socks, shoes, backpack, granola bar wrapper, empty cup, tented book, discarded pencil, teeny tiny paper scraps/sticker backs/pieces of glitter, dirty clothes, and damp towel directly to her unmade bed.

11. Have only girl presidents! HAA!

Now this one I can really get behind, but sadly it seems to have been suggested in jest. Amendment, I say!

12. No E-mailing aloud!

Dad and Siri, THIS MEANS YOU, KNOCK IT OFF.

13. Treat every human being the same.

Except for her little brother/slave/whipping boy.

I say put the kid in charge! I love peace, important people, and fun activities. And I think my husband’s relationship with Siri is borderline inappropriate.

9 Responses to “If I Were President”

  1. alimonkee December 4, 2012 at 3:16 pm #

    That is awesome.

  2. Naptimewriting December 10, 2012 at 11:21 pm #

    I agree with greater percentage of her platform than I do with the other 2 parties, so reelect her!

    • amomynous2 December 11, 2012 at 8:09 pm #

      She’s got a lifetime appointment to Kid of Me!

  3. jeanette December 12, 2012 at 3:09 pm #

    Oh, I love this! Adorable.

    • amomynous2 December 12, 2012 at 6:32 pm #

      Ha, thanks! She is cuckoo. And thanks for reading!

      • jeanette December 13, 2012 at 3:42 am #

        My gal is still very little. I’m looking forward to all of this fun.

  4. Elyssa December 13, 2012 at 8:42 pm #

    You can get strawberry shortcake pops at school?? It sounds like a magical place.

    • amomynous2 December 13, 2012 at 8:44 pm #

      Dude, they’re the same ones they sold back when I went to school there and they are DELICIOUS.

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